Yes, Ma’am

Inmates are housed based on their crimes and medical backgrounds. Violent criminals are housed together, severe mental illness criminals are housed together, sex criminals are housed together, inmates with acute medical needs are together, etc. This is to reduce the likelihood of them beating the shit out of each other. 

One might think the violent criminal unit is the sketchiest, but it is not.  These are non-psych violent criminals.  Most of them have excellent social skills. Many are gang-affiliated. They’re highly functional human beings.

In booking, many of the people I assess are under the influence, in the middle of a psychiatric crisis, generally just pissed they were arrested, or developmentally delayed with impaired communication skills.

The gang members though - they’re charming.

They have great eye contact. They smile pleasantly.  They “Yes, Ma’am . . . Thank you Ma’am,” me till the end of my assessment. They’re smart, and they’re usually there for violent crimes or possession of illegal weapons. It’s an interesting paradox. 

When many of the patients who come in are screaming or crying or vomiting or smell so intensely they’re not allowed in the assessment room and have to be assessed from the bench, I would be lying if I didn’t admit a gang member here and there isn’t a breath of fresh air. They do charm me with their manners and social skills. I’m not saying it’s right but it is true.

I had never considered manners or social skills charming, but they are. 

Well, look at this one with his good posture and eye contact!  

Check out this guy with his clean, appropriate clothing and excellent volume control of his voice. 

And he’s got a smile on his face.  Get the fuck out of here.  Bless you, gentlman.

Did he just apologize to me and ask me to clarify my questions? Well, gladly, you child of God!

It's unsettling that social skills allow me to momentarily forget what atrocities someone may have committed. But, given my options, and the fact that there are generally atrocities regardless, I'll take it.

I was talking to a doctor who I like to work with at the jail. I didn’t get to meet this guy but he was telling me about a head gang member who he had walked back to his cell with after an assessment and the rest of the cells fell silent in respect. He walked with such confidence, and the doctor thought, ‘If this guy was born in different circumstances, he would still be a leader. He is, an incredible leader. Incredible charisma, commanding respect without asking for it.” 

What causes people to be inspired to lead groups toward understanding and acceptance rather than violence? Is it environment? Is it whether charisma is nurtured by opportunity or survival? At what point is excellent leadership manipulation?

I don’t know, but either way, leadership qualities are not exclusive to one or the other.

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Review

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This story is sharp, thought-provoking, and refreshingly honest, offering a nuanced and unsettling look at charisma, leadership, and moral ambiguity in a setting where people often aren't seen as fully human. The narrator challenges preconceived notions about what danger "looks like" and exposes the uncomfortable paradox of how the same qualities that inspire admiration can also command fear—and lead to violence. The story captures an uncomfortable but deeply human experience: finding comfort in the charm of someone society labels as dangerous. It highlights how charisma can mask violent tendencies—and how deeply ingrained our attraction to social competence and power truly is.

The contrast between visibly unstable inmates and charming, composed gang members disrupts the reader’s assumptions about who is safe and who isn’t. The conversation with the doctor adds depth, posing the question of what someone could have been if born into different circumstances. It's a powerful reflection on systemic inequality, opportunity, and how environment can shape the trajectory of a person’s life.

At its core, this piece is an exploration of power dynamics—how charm, social skills, and leadership exist outside traditional moral frameworks and can thrive even in spaces built for punishment and control. The reflection on leadership and circumstance gives the piece an intellectual depth that lingers after the final line. It encourages readers to think critically about human potential and the systems that shape it.